Fezhead

Fezhead

First appearance	Milk Quest
Residence	Sideway Valley
Birthday	December 14th
Appearances	Milk Quest: Repasteurized Milk Quest: Milk & Cookies Milk Quest Milk Quest 2

"Just take life one step at a time, that's how I do it."

What is there to say about Fezhead? He's just your average Joe: He works at a store selling farming equipment, has a few friends, loves fishing... Fezhead is, by all accounts, completely unremarkable... with one exception; his inane love of milk.

Fezhead dedicates himself to dairy to the degree that it becomes a little concerning, with dairy being the prime part of his diet and causing his bones to become so strong to the point that it makes him capable of breaking industrial grade hydraulic presses.

Fezhead has spent a majority of his life in Sideway Valley, occasionally travelling to Mountainside Peaks to visit his best friend B. Aced. Fezhead currently owns a house in Sideway Valley, which he got at a bargain due to it being prone to "supernatural activities", although Fezhead barely cared about this label, only seeing a cheaper house. Fezhead soon came to learn what these "supernatural activities" were when one day, he wanted to go out to purchase milk, but out of a mix of stupidity and grogginess...

Trivia

He got his fez as a participation award in a 4-man milk chugging contest. He came fifth.

Fezhead could always defy the laws of physics by jumping out of a roll mid-air. He did not know this until he was told he could.

Fezhead and B. Aced's friendship stems from a mutual love of music. B. Aced still owes him a favor for the time Fezhead got him tickets to the Sapphire Sisters, a group Aced is only interested in because they are attractive women (that are also not his wife).

Conehead

Conehead

First appearance	Milk Quest 2
Residence	Sideway Valley
Birthday	June 10th
Appearances	Milk Quest: Milk & Cookies Milk Quest 2

"whatever."

Like most living creatures, Conehead was once born. After hatching from an egg with 246 siblings, Conehead wandered numerous cities in the southwest for years, teaching himself all the necessities of life such as reading and writing. Conehead began to adjust to life fairly well, living in a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant, putting on a traffic cone hat, and becoming a professional juggler.

Sadly, his juggling career was not meant to be, as he lost four of his arms while juggling with bowling balls. Dissatisfied with his juggleless life in Arizona, Conehead hitchhiked as far as he could stand travelling, ending up in Sideway Valley where he once again lives in a dumpster, this time behind a Greek restaurant.

Conehead met Fezhead while taking one of his daily walks, joining him simply because he was bored and had nothing better to do. Soon the two became friends, going on an adventure to find the legendary Chocolate Bar. While walking home, Conehead also met Kid playing in ancient ruins thousands of feet in the sky, as most kids do.

Trivia

Conehead got his name from kids putting dunce caps on his head when he was younger.

He failed his personality test.

Conehead's dream is to own a 1968 Dodge Dart

Kid

Kid

First appearance	Milk Quest
Residence	Mountainside Peaks
Birthday	November 16th
Appearances	Milk Quest: Repasteurized Milk Quest: Milk & Cookies Milk Quest Milk Quest 2

"Hehehe... They'll never see it coming! Just walking by and- SPLAT! KER-POW! It'll be so cool."

Some children can be sweet, some children can be cruel, and some children can be merciless. Then there's Kid, who due to a somewhat lax amount of parental supervision, has become a bit of a prankster.

Ranging from minorly inconveniencing people to flat-out "accidental" arson, Kid is definitely on the naughty list. Still, being a child, Kid is quite naive. He doesn't fully understand the world, or the full ramifications of his actions, and isn't exactly the smartest either.

Meeting Fezhead in the strange world of the Void, Kid would go on to antagonize him relentlessly, impeding his progress. But what would cause this aggression...?

After escaping the void, Kid would meet Conehead after committing his standard afternoon war crimes. Becoming friends, Kid treats Conehead as a second father, with his actual father busy with private investigation, and his mother busy teaching.

Trivia

Kid claims to be tough by stating that he watches gore videos for fun. He does not.

His greatest dream is to go to every McDonald's in the country and order chicken nuggets.

Kid's biggest accomplishment is a massive scheme where he and a bunch of other students paid for all their lunch meals using counterfeit money. Not a single person snitched once the jig was up.

Mr. Toppy

Mr. Toppy

First appearance	Milk Quest: Milk & Cookies
Residence	Mountainside Peaks
Birthday	July 30th
Appearances	Milk Quest: Milk & Cookies

"Mhm, yes. Now, may I suggest shutting up? I didn't ask for your input about my ethics."

A massive British tycoon looking to expand the influence of his company, HESHA industries, into the States. Mr. Toppy's biggest claim to fame was manufacturing a super cool awesome laser eye vision top secret thingimabob while employed at a military weapons company called Bagkam, which he takes all of the credit for. In reality, he had stolen the idea from another co-worker and passed it off as his own. Whoops!

Setting up his new venture in Mountainside Peaks paid off well, as he has since practically taken over many of its businesses and turned HESHA into a well-known brand with a long reach across many products, from skin care products to potato chips.

In spite of his cutthroat attitude and blatant disregard for worthless money sinks such as "guard rails" in his factory, Toppy is not completely heartless, being only around 80% heartless, particularly caring about disability accessability due to his family.

Trivia

Toppy tried to gun for mayor of Mountainside Peaks, only to lose to a severely mentally ill man LARPing as a superhero.

He has expansion plans underway, wanting to get Sideway Valley under his thumb due to its proximity.

If Toppy had a time machine, he would go back to watch the American Civil War.

Smokey

Smokey

First appearance	Milk Quest: Repasteurized
Residence	Georgia...?
Birthday	September 18th
Appearances	Milk Quest: Repasteurized

"Well, my friend, nothing quite prepares you for whats to come as much as your experiences, ohoho!"

Even when you think you've seen it all, life can throw its curveballs at you. Charlie Rockafeller (also known by his nickname Smokey) is an experienced explorer, previously having travelled with a company in his younger years. Even after being let go due to his aging, Smokey still persists his hobby via lone spelunking and selling artifacts he finds in the Void, as well as assisting any other travellers he may come across in the Void.

On one occassion, he managed to come across the Timekeeper, a strange yet powerful being. The two surprisingly got along, and Timekeeper found worth in him as reconnaissance, tasking him with searching for mysterious artifacts crafted by his greatest enemy, in exchange for teaching Smokey some of his powers.

Trivia

Smokey gained his nickname from his previous position as a demolitions man among his Void exploring career.

While himself quite chatty, he despises overly talkative people such as the Jukebugs. If you don't have anything meaningful to say to him, shut up.

Smokey is a grandfather.

Timekeeper

Timekeeper

First appearance	Milk Quest: Repasteurized
Residence	The Inbetweens
Birthday	Before Time
Appearances	Milk Quest: Repasteurized

"Your despicable affairs leave me in a great spot of bother. I must ask of you to stop."

A powerful being living his life in the Inbetweens. The Timekeeper has become a guardian of sorts, preventing as much travel between the Inbetweens and Void as he can. It may not be the most prestigious work, especially amongst his kind, but he takes pride in it... Even if he does know deep down, it sucks.

His willingness to protect the Inbetweens is a tough and noble one. He is willing to do whatever it takes to keep the Inbetweens safe, no matter what. But what exactly could he be protecting it from...?

Trivia

He is a skilled pianist.

He makes semi-frequent trips to the Void, visiting... something.

He is... uh... I dunno??? He's a very mysterious kind of guy.

??????

??????

First appearance	Milk Quest: Repasteurized
Residence	??????
Birthday	??????
Appearances	Milk Quest: Repasteurized

"What is life... Without death? You call me the villain, yet it's YOU who wants to keep the wheel turning around and around and around and around and around, forever and ever and ever! Isn't it just lovely? ISN'T IT LOVELY?!? TELL ME! And what's the point if it never ends? Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin, yet you never see it that way, seeing my works as evil, when they're really just a needed part'a-"

SHUT UP YOU'RE WEIRD !!!!